Saturday, January 28

FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!

I think when I was first diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease I felt incredibly lonely, and very afraid. My journey has never been one where I have ever actually been alone; amazing survivors have surrounded me and I endured treatment at the same time as some of my mother's friends. I have a new understanding of how fearfully common cancer has become. I was shocked to return to school and discover that four of my classmates had family members or were personally touched by a cancer diagnosis over the holiday. I've read that anywhere between 1 in every 4 people to one in every 6 people will in their lifetime have cancer. What's happening??? While I'm very lucky to have one of the MOST treatable (and I'll even go so far to say one of the more endurable treatments) types of Cancer, there is still a LONG way to go.

As I realize I have a larger reader base for this blog than I ever imagined. I believe that this is my tool to inform others about cancer, find some great resources, and ultimately encourage HEALTH! I want to encourage you to go to www.cancer.org and do the Great American Health Check!

Allow me to step off my soapbox and share something that no one ever shared with me about Chemo. Chemo brain.

It's now documented that many individuals who undergo chemotherapy experience 'cognitive problems.' One survivor shared the story of staring at her microwave soon after treatment and just cringe, because she couldn't recall how to use it! For me, I've been able to continue using most household equipment with only my typical snafus. Alas - as always, it's my internal mouth filter that seems to have shut off. For instance I implied that one of the heavier nurses was pregnant (when she wasn't), other time's I flashed my new credit card- while exclaiming "Isn't it so pretty?" Besides that, really simple things become hilarious. Candyland & Pass the Pigs are more fun during treatment than when I was small. This week Matt & I watched Dodgeball, a Ben Stiller movie that I've seen a couple times. It must have been the drugs, because I NEVER recalled it being so funny before. Must be Chemo brain. Lucky for me the effects will wear off before class on Tuesday.

I've now completed 6 full sessions of Chemo, lost the majority of my body hair, but have managed to have a hairstyle that more resembles David Letterman than Donald Trump. The next couple weeks will be filled with tests and scans-- all which I hope will indicate that I'm very close to having completed treatment!

Sunday, January 22

feelin' groovey

It has been a GREAT weekend. I haven't had what I've considered to be a GREAT weekend in a long long time. I attribute this to a couple things a sense of re-gaining some control over my health from a cooking class, a wonderful Sabbath at church, and fabulous friends & family! – Thus leading to my on going 'OH MY GOD I HAVE CANCER' shock finally wearing off.

The shock wearing off may have to do with my renewed sense of having some control over my health that I gained in a cooking class sponsored by The Cancer Project I went to on Saturday. Foods play a big part in how our bodies run (duh), and certain foods play a BIG part in growing and preventing cancer. What I eat is what I choose to bathe my cells in-- and high fat & sugary foods are cancer feeders. The Cancer Project advocates a vegan lifestyle for individuals who are concerned about getting, have, or are survivors of cancer. (Disclaimer-- yeah, I know this ain't for everyone). A knowledgeable chef / breast cancer survivor lead the class, and then made some really yummy food. While the class was relatively short, I came away realizing that what I eat is the # 1 thing I can do to help my body during treatment, and keep me out of chemo lounges in the future. (I know I can't do justice to the class- a link to their website is on the side bar, I encourage you to check it out).

In un-cancer related stuff Sunday was just a great day! I went to church, and for the first time in a LONG time felt really inspired, hopeful, and uplifted. I then spent the afternoon with old friends, and the evening at discussing one of my favorite books with the congregation's book club. I'll be the first to admit that I have a love / hate relationship with the church, but I have to say that the congregation of 1st United Methodist Arlington Heights has been a wonderful community to be a part of. After my ministry experiences, it's great to nurtured and cared for by this congregation. Perhaps I never really expected much from this church, therefore making me pretty easy to impress at this point. Or perhaps (and more like it I suspect) God's miraculous work has always been to bring the right people (and van wrecks) into one's life at the exact right time. My entire experience of cancer has been deeply rooted in this church, and I'm very grateful for that.

I have a renewed gratitude for my friends this week! This has been a perspective changing journey, one in which the truest of colors of all who I hold dear have been revealed. I am learning who my real friends are in this experience, and what it means to be a real friend. While I may not say it enough-- thank you! It’s these friendships that sustain me & fill me with joy in a not too joyful time. On the flip side I feel disappointed in a long time friend, who may or may not realize that he/she isn't being a good friend. Elements of that revelation have been disappointing, but for the majority I am blessed by the remarkable friends and family who accompany me.

Friday, January 13

ROUND 6

I started the 6th round today. And even though I spent every day this week at the Medical Center, the most useful information that I recieved came from the Nurse Practioner administering my treatment.

What I found out:
I'm definately getting 8 rounds of chemo. Then depending what everything looks like after the re-staging that will be done after the 6th and 8th cycles the doctors will determine if I'll need radiation. Feb. will be a month of tests, putting the potenial end of chemo (I say tenatively) in April.

hanging in there.

Thursday, January 12

Returning to Routine

Ah, the holiday's are over! BIG sigh of relief. Normalcy as I know it has returned. This week I returned to my internship, resumed classes, and returned to the UIC Medical Center daily. It's good to be back (well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad)! Although spending last week on the couch reading was wonderful!

Health Update:
I visited my oncologist this week. Things are on track. I'll start my 6th round of Chemo this Friday, and finish this round by the end of the month. Afterwards I'll be 're-staged.' Which will include a CT Scan. Which will hopefully show only the scar tissue of the mass, then (2 to 3 weeks later) I'll have a PET scan (which could translate to a treatment free February!).

School Update:
I'm taking two classes, and working at my internship 24 hours a week. I've opted to take my electives this summer when there are smaller classes and a broader variety of topics to study. My classmates will graduate this spring, and I'll be done mid-July. Then it's the good ole' job hunt for me!~ (anyone wanna give me a job?I'll be cancer free soon-- hint, hint?)

Other Odd Things:
I went to a Lymphoma networking group at Glida's Club last week. In speaking with other folks with various forms of lymphatic cancer, as a group we realized that we no longer had arm hair. Odd, yes. Had I noticed?--not a bit. Which really makes me wonder what's the purpose of hair on ones arm?

Pass the Veggies:
Over break I did a ton of reading & web surfing. I've been really interested in diet & cancer. Did you know that vegetarians in general have much much lower cancer rates then carnivores? Additionally, many of the holistic doctors (combination of western medicine with a 'mind, body, spirit' emphasis) in the field put their patients on strict vegetarian diets during treatment. Vegetarian, low sugar diets have helped cancer patients respond to, tolerate treatment, & recover faster. Some doctors even attribute diet as a major contributing factor in keeping patients in remission. I'm still researching, but I'm getting closer and closer to concluding that more veggies & less sugar may be one of the best ways I can stay healthy & stay out of oncology units in the future.