Friday, December 30

Highs & Lows of 2005

One of my favorite youth group practices was the last five minutes in which all who attended shared what was the Hi and Lo of their week. A kind of reminder to count your blessings. So rather than bore everyone with the extended list here's my top 5 and my bottom 5.

Lows:
5. They're right don't drink the water in Mexico. I think Matt and I drank a little while swimming in an underground river. I spent our last there in bed sick, while Matt was ok. The following day Matt got sick and had to fly home ill. (GROSS).
4. dropping my electives and having to finish school one semester late.
3. hospitals & doctors visits
2. chemotherapy
1. umm, cancer.
Highs:
5
. Mexico, ahh vacation. (I'm ready to return)
4. That 15 passenger can wreck in Appalachia, that led to my cancer diagnosis. Prior to the wreck I had NO symptoms.
3. Amazing student health insurance! I will pay less in tuition (student loans) that the school has already paid for my health care!!!
2. I don't want to toot my own horn but we really did have a bitchin' hitchin'! It was great to be surrounded and supported by so many amazing people-- and I had a great time.
1. Marring the aMazing Matthew Krings who I am blessed and amazed by every day!


Important Lessons learned:
--Illness is a great lesson in who my friends are. I discovered what a great family I married into, and appreciate my parents & family (here & gone) in a new way.
-- Attitude is everything.
-- Meeting some amazing fellow cancer ass kickers (hello Ed & Julie), have taught us how to have fun at chemo & how not to take the medical system lying down.
-- QUESTION EVERYTHING!

Friday, December 16

Holiday Warnings

Beware the Yule Cat my friends:

From Iceland comes the legend of the sinister and gargantuan Yule Cat, who, it seems, is ready to eat lazy humans. Those who did not help with the work of their village to finish all work on the autumn wool by Yule time got a double whammy -- they missed out on the Yule reward of a new article of clothing, and they were threatened with becoming sacrifices for the dreaded. This tidbit from a lovely Web site on Yule in Iceland, complete with a poem on the Yule Cat (taken from http://www.candlegrove.com/yule.html#cat).

Additional Holiday Warnings:

An elf has informed me that my generations old 'White Christmas Cake' (a.k.a. FRUITCAKE) will soon be arriving to the doors of myself and other extended family members. Some claim to LOVE this holiday treat (I think it has something to do with the ability of a small piece of cake to inebriate one faster than a gallon of egg nog). I too love the fruit encrusted cake of booze-- but not for eating. With that, I'd like to share with all who will be receiving a 'Christmas Cake’ or fruitcake some alternative uses for the cake from www.party411.com:

Centerpiece: Using a giant fruitcake that you made or bought (and no matter whether it's rectangular or round), put it center table on a bed of holly and evergreen branches with pinecones scattered as confetti. Delightful.

Votive Candle Holder: Take the fruitcake out of its container and make holes big enough to hold votive candles. Or just shove them in-who's to know?! Isn't this a great idea?

Guest Towel Holder: Take two fruitcakes, lay them side by side about 4" apart and insert popsicle sticks to make it a holder for your favorite guest towels. Decoupage if you feel up to it.

Knife Rest: Cut the fruitcake into 2x1" rectangles and put one at each place as a knife rest…your guests will marvel at your creativity.

Place Card Holder: Again, cut the fruitcake into rectangles and make a small groove in the top to hold a business card size placecard. Placecards with holly and mistletoe are easily found at your local stationery store. Coat with polyurethane so you can use year after year.

Holiday Door Knocker: You may think this is difficult but it's not. Super glue a hinge to the bottom of the fruitcake near the top, use removable double stick tape to attach the back of the hinge to your door. Let's hope they are not from the school of hard knocks.

Punch Hole Ring: Take your fruitcake, freeze it in a block of ice and throw it in your punch bowl for an unusual yet attractive garnish.

Trivet: No explanation needed.

Or for the family out West here's another option:
The GREAT Fruitcake toss-- Jan 7th 10 am- 2 Manitou Springs CO

http://www.manitousprings.org/ASP/CalendarItem.ASP?NUMBER=94

Wednesday, December 14

The Waiting Game

As a child the entire month of December I felt like my insides were being tickled with excitement for first my birthday then Christmas! I think squirrels may have moved into my body for the month and prevented me from staying still for an extended amount of time. My 5 1/2 year old niece Raya is a lot like that. She was so excited to be a flower girl in the wedding, the kid couldn't be still. From her perspective she was doing the very best a 5 1/3 year old could do. As we were having our hair done before the ceremony she exclaimed several times 'Aunt Meg, this is the STILLEST I've EVER been'. It's this kind of hopeful, exuberant, waiting -- that has been my perspective on Advent, until this year.


This year I'm practicing a different kind of waiting, still hopeful, but also dreadful. Like a test of the emergency broadcast system, you sit through it because you HAVE TO not because that long monotone or obnoxious beeping feels good to your ears. Nearly each day of my holiday break from school, I schlep to the medical campus of my university, for tests, shots, or doctor's appointments. Each trip is accompanied with an hour long commute one way on the CTA, then at least an equivalent pre-appointment wait in the hospital. This Advent I wait not for Santa or the birth of Christ, this year I wait for my health. The irony for me is that many times as I wait I don't feel ill, but weary of the waiting. My time in Kenya taught me how to wait, yet I still grow frustrated with the experience of extended waiting. Yet I know that 'wait and see' may be the most truthful thing a physician may ever tell me. For me this spiritual season of waiting is not the squirrelly exciting that often gets paired with the season, rather it's a weary and worn hope that someday sooner than later the things I dread the most will be over.

CT Results

The mass is smaller, but still there. I will be having Chemo through Feb. (six cycles) then another scan and we'll go from there.

Thursday, December 8

wedding photos

Way back in July (remember the warm weather?) I had this magnificant day that I was blessed to share with many of you. At long last I've finally got a handful of the photo's on-line to share. (I'm still not 100% if this really works or not, so please give me a heads up if it doesn't).

thanks Megan

copy and paste this link into your browser:

http://kringswedding.shutterfly.com/action/?a=2EcuXDdm1YuJg

Tuesday, December 6

Well it's official!
My third semester of grad school is complete!
Just as noteworthy, my fourth round of chemo is complete.

To think two weeks ago I was worried about what I'd do with all this 'free time.' I forgot that I've managed to book myself with a couple more doctors’ appointments than my usual load. But I've tempered the additional doctors visits with massage, acupuncture, some non-alcoholic holiday cheer, and if this artic blast ever lifts maybe I'll make it to the library.

Today I went in for another CAT scan to determine the direction my treatment will take. Next week I'll get the results from Dr. Chen. I'll keep you posted.

Stay warm!
Megs

Saturday, November 26

Matt's Blog has complete holiday coverage:

http://kringer.blogspot.com/

Monday, November 21

Return to Chemo -- start of round 4

Most chemo mornings I roll out of bed as late as possible and procrastinate the morning dull-drums as long as I. Then if I'm lucky, we depart in the thick of the morning rush hour. This last Friday I rose much earlier than the sun to take Matt to the airport. (Matt was in Nashville, TN for a Youth Work Convo). So the lovely and gracious Ms. Dawn Kujawa took a day off work and joined me (some will recall her as the self titled 'Bride's Bitch' from our wedding. After watching the wedding video this week I realize just how much work that poor chick had to do--- needless to say she has earned my undying affection and admiration). When I returned to the apartment to await Dawn's arrival (she also had to rise much earlier than the sun, and much earlier than her alarm typically wakes her).

Once at UIC we did the hurry up and wait thing, that hospitals are so good at. Eventually we were ushered into a chemo room-- where we played Uno, and I believe that there was no clear victor after the 4th round. I then slept through the entire ordeal of receiving my very special chemo cocktail. After my nap, I was feeling pretty good so we saw the newly released Pride & Prejudice. This was excellent! Much MUCH better than the 5 hours of film by PBS / BBC. I highly recommend it.

I'm still disappointed with the lack of clarity of when I'll be done with treatment and what exactly treatment will look like. The three weeks I went without treatment were a great reminder of much missed sense of normalcy.
In the mean time it looks to be a very normal Thanksgiving for me. Tuesday I get to take Matt on his second journey to LaRue, OH. It promises to be laid back (and probably boring)-- I think boring may be a nice trade from our typical drama. Mostly I'm looking forward to seeing old pals, family, and the hot tub on the folk's back porch.

Happy Turkey Day everybody!

Wednesday, November 16

5.5 x's 2 cm's

5.5 x 2 c.m is the size of the tumor in my chest.

It's still there. When found it was 7 x 3.5 c.m.s. So chemo is working.


But I'm not done. after today's appointment, it's a wait and see position. I'm at least having all 6 rounds now (hello february). Just for kicks, Dr. Chen actually mentioned maybe having to do 8.

I'll do another round of chemo. have a cat scan. then depending on how much the tumor decreases in size will determine if I'll have (gulp) radiation.

Possible game plans after the fourth round:

if the tumor stubornly fails to shrink-- more chemo + radiation.
If the tumor is gone -- two more treatments.
If the tumor is there but has deminished in size-- will go 8 rounds.

keep in mind these are doctors, and they could change there mind again.

in the mean time, it's a cold and blustery day in chicago-- good for sulking.

Monday, November 7

Nothing all too exciting to report this week.

I got a notification in the mail this week that according to UIC I'm good to graduate this spring. Which is super exciting. It also means that I'll be taking a pretty heavy class load, which I feel good about considering that the majority of my classes may be in the evening. Giving me day time to go to my internship and do homework. Plus I discovered early on in undergrad that I always performed better as a student with a full course load. There is something about the pressure of having to do things right the first time.

In other news I’m getting all pumped up for the holidays. Taking a short trek to Ohio, and then getting practically a month off from school. Currently I'm wondering how I'll spend that month off- but I'm not too worried about it.

Happy November!

Tuesday, November 1

photo's for you lookie lous

this is me in the new- somewhat grown out hair cut.

Here's Me modeling just a few of the MANY hat's I've recieved;

Look out Ethel!

This hat is really great. When I wore it to class and internship last week people kept commenting on how 'festive' I looked.



Who skinned the muppet!? Ask my mom!

Call me Cleo!

Monday, October 31

Chemo & the White Sox

Admittedly I'm not much of a baseball fan. I did fall asleep for the last two games of the World Series, and occasionally when folks say 'White Sox' I check the color of my socks. BUT when the World Series Champions parade by UIC pre-chemo-- I'll jump on the band wagon. Sure the team blew past us at 35 mph- but how often does that happen? All that excitement pretty well tuckered me out for treatment- which I promptly slept through.

My momma camped out for chemo this weekend. While it may sound exciting to come along -- really it's not that big of a deal. For the on looker, it muyct be very dull as I spend a good deal of the weekend sleeping, and another portion doing typcial Megan weekend stuff, which I suppose could be asmueing to others beside myself.

This visit certainly did set my mother's mind at rest-- while a lot of cancer patients have horror stories of treatment; my treatment is certainly a walk in the park. (for all you looky lous, she brought the digital camera; soon I may be posting photos of all my lovely caps, hats, and a great pair of KNEE SOCKS (Thank you Aunt Ann!!). Other wise I'm pretty pumped with the idea of being done in November, I've got my fingers crossed for one last month!
peace & love-- megs

Wednesday, October 26

GREAT NEWS!

It's been a great week! First, my white blood cell counts are up so I only had to have on 'booster' shot this week rather than two. Second, I went in for an appointment with my oncologist today. Going on a chest x-ray from a couple weeks ago, the report shows a 'marked shrinkage' in the mass! Which didn't mean all that much to me until he talked about me stopping chemo soon!

The new game plan looks like I'll have a CAT Scan on Friday which will give a much better picture of the mass. From there we'll determine if I can stop soon. But if it looks as good as the x-ray may indicate then after finishing the third and fourth sessions (hello, end of November), I'll take a two week break and have a PET scan to really determine if I'll need the fifth and sixth treatments or not!

Thursday, October 20

Amusing little things

First of all try this- Go to Google type in 'failure' and then hit "I feel lucky." This alone was enough to make my day.

Second, I found this great website called www.planetcancer.org

The following is a top ten list I pulled from their site for your enjoyment

Top 10 Ways to Disrupt the Waiting Room

1. Ask everyone around you to do things "stat".
2. Offer free prostate exams.
3. Ask everyone nervously whether they have a "spare catheter".
4. Pop a tape in the VCR of you in an avocado-eating contest.
5. Supplement bland waiting room periodicals with nurse-fetish pornography.
6. Give your best rendition of that dance-floor classic: The Naked Raptor.
7. Hold up sign that reads, "Free chemo in the parking lot".
8. Initiate spelling bee. Be unflinchingly cruel with errors.
9. Leaf through every magazine in the room, shake hands with everyone else and then say loudly, "Jesus, this flesh-eating scabies itches like a mother".
10. Repeatedly refer to the doctor you're waiting to see as "The Trembling Butcher".

Monday, October 17

another week.

And so it goes. First treatment of the third session. Almost half way.
As for this session, I managed to wallop my beloved once again in Scrabble-- he is threatening not to play with me anymore. Which is very disappointing, because he's a much better speller than I.

I made brave attempts to get more done this weekend than others when I've had treatment. Including getting a good start on a paper and making it to church on Sunday. Both were efforts that led to much napping / sleeping afterward. While I've mentioned it before, I'm certainly more aware between each session the slow tapping of my physical energy. Lessons I learned long ago like "haukna mattada, pole ploe" certainly do ring true.

In other far more exciting news- Miss. Vay Kay will be officially changing her name to Mrs. McMillen (spelling?) next fall. Lucky Brad surprised the bejesus out of Heather, good for him!~ Odd, when I first met Heather the first thing she told me all about was her dream wedding. A great big ole Southern Ball with bridesmaids in hoop skirts (I believe she promised me pink or yellow). Lucky for me, in the time I've known her Heather's tastes have migrated away from hoop skirts!

Monday, October 10

Spliting Hairs

A disclaimer:
I knew that a I'd have to post about my hair and my feelings about it when I started this blog. Then and now I recognize the vanity of it all, and even as I wrote this I hate to admit that every single hair on my head matters.

Even though many cancer patinets loose their hair on their second treatment, I still have hair. In fact only I can tell that it has thinned a little. Weeks ago to prepare for the mass exodus of hair from folcials I completely chopped off my hair. The new style is called a Pixie cut-- (think Julia Roberts in Hook or the super short do that Sharon Stone sports sometimes). It's RADICALLY different than any other style I've ever had, and because it's so different several people don't recognize me. Until yesterday I wasn't certain I liked it.

I went to church with Matt yesterday for the first time in several weeks. Several people approached me just to tell me how much they love the new cut! In fact, a couple of Matt's co-workers said word per word the exact same thing: "You must really hate how cute you look with that new hair cut." It was then that I realized that with the new hair cut I've been getting more attention from the opposite gender-- (don't worry. I am a VERY HAPPY newly wed. I make sure that the indivdual is blinded by the new 'bling bling' I acquired this July). It's been a great ego boost. It's as if I've reached the apex of good hair, now that I'm days or weeks away from it all falling out. Which makes it a more difficult to accept it's falling out.

Really, I’m okay with my hair falling out. All this attention to my hair right before it waves ado has given me some new perspective. Yes, it's only hair and it will grow back. It's been great to have these last couple weeks of feeling beautiful. Especially because I've been anticipating feeling and looking like a bald ugly shrew (and on some level I still do expect to feel that way when I loose it all). I realize now that there is some kind of power wrapped up in beauty- that strangers will talk and listen to you and even seek you out. In contrast, I'll cross the street to avoid scary or strange looking folks. I know better, and I especially know now that appearances are deceiving. My hair matters in how I perceive myself, and how I believe people perceive me. I read recently an account of another cancer survivor who said ‘baldness announces to a room of strangers that I have cancer without me ever saying a word.’ Most of all I'm frustrated with my own vanity, that my hair matters so much, and that it bothers me so much that I no longer have the power to determine who knows about my disease.

Thursday, October 6

I FINISHED THE PAPER!

I have spent the last week working on fine tuning a massive amount of information in to eight pages of drivel. It's a skill I know-- me, google, the new computer (it's yet to be named). I think that my brain cells are still a sighing with relife.

ahh-- now another week to relax before the next bit of this project is due. OH I AM SOOOO GLAD it's mid semester.

ahh -sleep.

Wednesday, October 5

1/3 of the way!

Hey Gang!

I neglected my habit of blogging on Sundays to write a paper, that I still have yet to complete (it's due tomorrow).

Good news! I am 1/3 of the way through Chemo! Ed & Julie Turner joined us once again for chemo last Friday. I make a least four trips to the oncology department between treatments now, and even though I'm only coming in to get a shot it feels like I am waiting forever. But when friends come along time some kind of time warp ensues. Treatment last week flew by, we laughed and chatted with my roommate. (I'm beginning to realize that they give me one heck of a sedative before administering the BIG drugs). Matt & I are very very blessed to have the Turner's in our lives!

I spent a good chunk of the weekend napping or assisting in assembling a computer desk. As far as school I'm nearly mid-way through the semester so class work is picking up a bit. Classes are good this semester and are totally manageable.

Tomorrow I'm going in for all kinds of exciting tests to check on the status of my lymph nodes.

Sunday, September 25

Pie for breakfast sleep in your underwear.

After an painfully long journey of Alzheimer’s disease my Grandmother, Louise Hutchinson, passed away Friday.

She lived a remarkable life, and I'm proud of the legacy I've inherited (I attribute my dry quirky wit to this woman). When I think of her life I imagine it being far more exciting than it may have been. She lived all over the world, when that was unthinkable (I mean before planes were the primary means of international voyages). I envision her with bright and bold strokes. I’ve been reminiscing of how their house was what I now consider to be the combination of a museum and Pier One. Each visit to Colorado to see her was an adventure.

The pain of Alzheimer’s is that it robs a piece of a person slowly over time. She hasn't been herself for years, and by the time I was old enough to realize who she was, that piece was no longer accessible.

This week has been a return to normalcy to a degree. I'm wading in the waters of mid - semester with tides of work to be completed. Matt's youth program is in full swing. For the first time in a while we've returned to some familiar roles of being ships in the night.


If you want to spend sometime thinking about our friends in the South, listen to Randy Newman's song 'Louisiana 1927.' The chorus is simply 'They're trying to wash us away.'


In the face of uncertainty there is nothing wrong with hope.

Sunday, September 18

No News is Good News

My white blood cells were up again on Friday (ya! no more yucky mask for now). So I started my second round of chemo. The second round is infamous for making hair fall out.

For the occasion I decided to go for a new style. I'm now sporting a super short cut. I can easily say that my hair may have only been this short at birth (seeing as I was born bald). Fortunately there are no signs of weird birth marks or other odd deformities on my head.
Chemo was uneventful, except that I kicked Matt's butt at Scrabble. Luckily the game ended before the sedative kicked in, other wise my substantial lead could have been lost to inability to spell (and on a good day my spelling is only so so). It wasn't quite Candy Land, but it passed the time.


We've come a long way baby-- I've heard horror story after horror story of chemo patients five to ten years ago. They were tossing their cookies for days at a time and feeling horrible just up until the next treatment. That certainly is not my experience, as a testament to all those wonderful drugs they've developed, I really only feel crappy for a couple days (my energy may be sapped, but this certainly is not like a hangover at all). In fact after chemo this week, and a good long nap, Matt and I saw one of our favorite folk artist Peter Mulvey in concert. Now I slept most of Saturday, but I've nailed out about half a paper today (Sunday). While cancer does have it's fair share of bad days, there are just as many 'normal' ones too.

Sunday, September 11

No White Blood Cells & No Chemo

My weeks are no longer built around a weekend or a day off, rather around doctors appointments, hospital visits, and the news I receive from them. This last weeks doctor's appointments have led to various tests, and slowly became day long procedures. Every other Friday I go in for chemo, last Friday was supposed to be the day scheduled to start round two of chemo (two of six rounds). Yet my blood test determined that I did not have enough white blood cells for chemo. So Matt and I got a 'day off' from chemo.

There are all kinds of good and bad things about not receiving treatment. Good things would include; finally having the time and ability to make a trip to Milwaukee (Matt‘s mom got us a beautiful china cabinet! That we were finally able to pick up.), keeping my hair for another week (there is a consensus among doctors and patients that it's typically the second round of chemo that makes one's hair fall out), and feeling okay for another week. The bad thing about having a critical amount of white blood cells is that I'm venerable to catching infections. This means I am to avoid crowds and if in a crowd wear a mask (no movies, restaurants, church, public transit, or 'germ magnets' --kids) and no fresh food for me. I have the okay to go to class, PHEW!
If my white blood cells recover this week, and there is no reason why they shouldn't, this next Friday will be Chemo.

In other news, our mail box has been flooded with cards from all over the Mid-West. It's been great to hear from everyone in Des Plaines and elsewhere- Thank you.

Thursday, September 1

Red Line Adventures

As I've been told various time by cancer survivors, one certainly does have their share of good days and bad days. After last week's chemo round I've been doing really well. I've ran with Matt, done yoga, and completed most of my reading for the second week of classes. All of that to say- even when you're doing well, something can rain on your parade. (Warning: the rest of this will be me whining).

I really just thought my allergies were acting up, I'm nearly obsessive about washing my hands, and I'm trying to avoid infections. Yet I got a sore throat this week, which led to a cough, which then led to a stuffy nose. So in order to breathe while sleeping I spent the night on the couch. As dawn approaches and I awake, I still feel like crap. Hoping it's just the remnant's of spending the night on the couch I plow on getting ready for the day. Slowly I make it to the morning train. About five or six stops after boarding the Red Line I realize that it's not just allergies, and that I need to abandon ship. I crawl out of my sardine can, sit on the platform and call my knight in shining armor who rescues me. Matt delivers me promptly to the UIC Medical Center.

At 'the center' I amaze medical experts with my alarmingly low blood pressure. Matt and I spend the morning and early afternoon baffling doctors. No cause was ever determined but I did receive some drugs for a sinus infection, and told firmly to 'TAKE IT EASY.'

Back at the ranch our defunct DVD unit is still being repaired in the Bronx, and our long weekend plans have been thrown out. Needless to say- Cancer sucks.

Have a happy and safe holiday weekend.

I am going to kick cancers ASS!

Saturday, August 27

Candy Land

Yesterday was a chemo day. This time was the maiden voyage for my port, and much smoother sailing all around. Ed & Julie Turner from the church joined us, and we had a great deal of fun. They brought Candy Land for us to play. I've not made my rounds through the color coated board in a long time, so Julie and Matt both trumped me (I’ll get you Plumpy and your sugared plums too!). All of the nurses were amused, and at one point we were so lound (who ME? loud never) they shut our hospital room doors- so we wouldn't distrub the other patients.

Once Matt and I returned home I promptly fell asleep on the couch, while Mr. Krings became a lean mean laundry machine. I woke up in time to listen to our favorite NPR show This American Life and fold towels. This was our exciting Friday night on Chemo. On the agenda for today, picking up our co-op produce and maybe yoga at Glida's Club-- and lots more napping.

Big thanks to Ed and Julie for a fun chemo session on Friday!

Thursday, August 25

Schools In Session

Thanks for returning once again. Or, Welcome if this is your first time checking the site out.

This week classes resumed. It's my second and final year at UIC, upon completion in the Spring I'll graduate with a Masters in Social Work. This fall I'm be taking three classes that meet once a week. When not in class I'll be at my internship three days a week. I'm excited to get things started, but I’m always sad to see the summer coming to an end. As summer's go, I think I'm finally ready to write the best 'What I did on my summer vaction' paper ever.

Tomorrow is my second chemo treatment. Ed & Julie Turner parishoners at 1st UMC Arlington Heights, and fellow Cancer Ass Kickers will be joining us. They have partnered with us from the very beginning of this journey, and are great sources of strength and humor. I’m glad to have them on the team.

In other news. After four grueling Starbucks shifts, I've turned in my apron today. Sniff, Sniff. I wear out quickly, and I just couldn't keep up. It was a great experience. After I've defeated every single malignant cell in my body I'll consider returning. In the mean time I'll just have to get and line and pay full price for my Decaf Grande Vanilla Non Fat No Whip Stired Mocha.

Wednesday, August 17

back to life

Yesterday Matt and I embarked on another one of our daylong adventures to the hospital. I had a port placed in my chest so that the next time I go in for chemo I don't have to be poked five million times before we find a suitable vein. The port procedure was an out patient surgery, which I was mostly out of it for. The port is on my right side upper chest; I have two new scars that will run parallel with the scar from July's biopsy. I've spent much of the last day or so riding out the painkillers, and working on thank you notes from the wedding (almost done!).

Things are returning to normal here. I go back to working at Starbucks tomorrow (another one of those great 4.45 a.m. shifts), and next week school starts. I've purchased most of the books on line, and I'll be doing my annual school shopping after the professors tell me what I need. In the mean time my laptop will be sent out for a few small repairs. I will no longer be bogging from home as often, but I'll definitely keep on top of things.

All and all chemo treatment 1A wasn't so bad. I was tired and had an upset stomach for several days, most of that wore off after the first three days or so.
Thanks for all the groovy post cards!

Friday, August 12

one twelveth of the way there!

Chemo Session One Part A.
attendants: Kratt Mings, Kathy "Mom" Krings, Annie (music teacher and sis-in-law extraordinaire), and myself loaded up in Matt's little civic and went to Chemo today. We arrived to a crowded waiting room and used the time wisely. This is the first time I've seen Kathy post wedding, so we shared photos and filled each other in on our experiences of that day, and our honeymoon.ccIget called to have my vitals checked. Soon afterwards my room is ready, and the four of us cram into a tiny room- (or a very large closet with windows), with 2 recliners, 2 less comfortable looking chairs, a tv with a vcr, drawers and shelves filled with medical supplies, 2 iv racks, and what looks to be the evidence of another patient. Now I know that I'm not the only person in the entire world who has cancer right now, but I was really hoping for my own room- or even one of those hospital dividing curtains. None the less Mrs. Carlson was there when we got there and remained there when I was cleared to leave. As the room became over crowded Matt and Kathy would take turning chilling with the Chemo Queen.

The actual process of having the drugs administered really isn't all that bad. I had the most difficulty with the needles. Now I'm not afraid of needles, and my mother with attest that I have great veins (She, a professional hospital vampire, claims that she could hit my vein in the dark from across the room). So after the first two sticks do not work -I'm hurting and Kathy requests a new nurse to try. Nurse #2 tries twice and finally gets it in on the third try after proclaiming that I am tense, and that I need to relax my veins. (umm, not to be a complete jerk to this sweet lady but- I'M TENSE could be one of the milder adjectives I would choose to describe myself right now). Tuesday I'll be getting a a 'port' installed in my chest that will eliminate the needles and allow the nurses to administer the chemo through a value. Any way they got the IV started, then gave me a sample does of one of the drugs. We waited for an hour to see if I would have any adverse reaction- during which time we viewed the wedding video that our buddy Tonio-T shot. Once the hour or so had passed I was given a TON of anti nausea meds, and then the four 'gold standard' Hodgkin’s Chemo meds were given to me. Actual Chemo didn't take more than a little over an hour.

The experience wasn't horrible, or even bad, definitely annoying. On the lighter side, I feel fine now 6 hours after treatment, it was great to be surrounded by my new family members, I got my first super cool post card, and next time i'll know better what to expect. I may need a little help on tuesday. I have minor inpatient surgery that morning to insert the port, and much later that afternoon I have a CT scan scheduled. - Any one game for a day at UIC?

Thursday, August 11

Chemotherapy Starts Tomorrow!

About six years ago I embarked on a wonderful journey that took me half way across the globe for six months, and changed the way I will forever view the world. Today as I enjoy my last 'normal' day in the next six months, many of my questions and fears are similar to those I had when I departed Columbus, Ohio for Nairobi, Kenya. Questions like; What will I eat? What will things taste like? Who will I meet? Will they like me? What will it feel like? What will I look like? How will I change? Despite all the reading I did and all the pictures I saw nothing ever compared to the actual experience of being a college student in Africa. Similarly I know that all the reading and questions I've asked have helped me gather an idea of what this experience will be, nothing will compare to the experience.

Now that I have completed the several scans, tests, and shots I've finally received my full diagnosis. I have stage 2A Hodgkin’s (a really good prognosis). For the next six months I'll be going to chemo every other Friday. Dr. Chen is leaning towards me not having radiation (yah!). I'm told chemo will make me feel very fatigued especially the days immediately following treatment, and nausea is a common side effect (although it sounds like they've come a long way with the anti-nausea drugs). My taste may change, I'll probably loose my hair, I can't change the cat box (sorry cleo) or diapers, I can't drink, I need to avoid sick people and children. BUT I've always kinda wondered what my scalp looks like (and it's not forever), and through this I get to embark on journey (not as exciting as going to Africa) but a journey that will leave an even bigger impact upon who I am, for the better.

I'll try to blog on Sunday, and fill everyone in on all the juice details on what chemo is 'really' like. In the mean time this weeks chemo party consists of Ma-in-law extraordinaire Kathy (seriously, she's great) and Kratt Mings Chinese Super Spy- should be a good time. Much Love-- Megs!

Wednesday, August 3

Bone Marrow Biopsy & Ways to HELP OUT!

Today Matt and I returned to Dr. Chen's office for the first time post honeymoon for a bone marrow biopsy. This is a test where doctors take a very wide and long neddle insert it into one's hip bones, take a sample of marrow and samples of bone from both the left and right side. This is an in office procedure that took about a half an hour. They gave me demerol and a local anestic near the two 'insisions'. By far this was the most 'uncomfortable' of the tests thus far, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it sounds (pain killers are a wonderful thing).

New information that we've recieved would include that after a EKG, X-ray, and a Muggel test (I know it's not really called that, but I like the way this one sounds best) I will probably start Chemo Friday next week. (WOAH).

In other cancer related news I got my hair chopped off last night. I love my new hair cut (I'll try to post photos of this too), but I will need to get it cut shorter once again pre-falling out.

Again thanks to all who have offered support and help. The following is a list of possible ways you can lend a hand (if interested respond to the post):

Help we could use

  • PRAY!
  • Fun Mail- Please, save our mail box from the boredom of bills. Cool & Weird postcards are the best! Be creative! Please avoid the typical get well card's. (contact us if you’ve lost our mailing address).
  • Grocery runs- in the same line with cleaning, between jobs, doctors appointments, and just feeling yucky it’s happening on a meal by meal basis.
  • Rides- We’re happy to be a one car family, but we don’t want Matt to miss work for the not as important stuff- so rides occasionally would be great.
  • Cleaning our apartment- not that our place has ever been spotless, but vacuuming, dishes, cat box, and dusting have not been on the top of our list.
  • Chemo Party teams-- We haven’t quite figured out what Chemo will look like, but from what we’ve heard it will be a couple hours of being connected to a tube. So rather than twiddling thumbs we’ve decided to make it fun and game (themes will be announced by the ‘team captain’).

Tuesday, August 2

Hey There

I've just updated the blog with photo's from the wedding. We only took one roll of photos in Mexico (Hey! We were busy!)- and if you're good I'll post those too.
Click on wedding photo's for the images.

Love -- Megan

wedding ceremony photos

Kurt "The Opossum" Walking My Mom down the Asile

My lovely sister Gwen, as the Matron of Honor
Get a load of these hotties in suits!
Beautiful & Talented Anne






Raya the well practiced flower Girl.
Me and My Dad



Woah! It's been an amazing couple of weeks! The wedding was wonderful- it felt sureal. The reception truly lived up to the hype and it was a 'Bitchin' Hitchin,'"

Sunday Matt and I returned from Playa Del Carmen, Mexico where we spent a wonderful week (well, up until the end when we both got sick). Snorkelling, zipping over lakes, repelling into Cenontes (underground fresh water rivers found only in the Yuctan), eating wonderful rich food, shopping, and of course THE BEACH! We had a blast. Maybe we should have bought that time share :-) .

When we returned home we found our apartment had been booby trapped by my beloved parents and their buds John & Luanna. In addition to tons of yarn strung through out the entire space, there were loads of wedding gifts. When opening gifts more than anything we recieved there was just a great feeling of being loved and supported by countless numbers of loved ones. Thanks everyone!

Now that it's Tuesday we've begun back to the routine, we're both back to work. Matt is helping his church prepare for one HUGE rummage (french for crap'). I've been pulling shots at the 'bucks. Cruely I'm reminded that school starts on Aug 22 -only 3 more weeks of summer. Otherwise I have been sitting in waiting rooms for a CAT scan and a gallium test. Tomorrow we we see Dr. Chen again - I think for the bone marrow test, and on Thursday I go back to Nuclear medicine to have the results of the gallum test read.

Thanks to all for coming out to the hitching. I'll try to post photos.

Meg

ps-- I'm going in for the hair chop tonight!

Wednesday, July 20

Last night my sister -in-law to be and I picked up my wedding dress! It's great! I am soo excited about this weekend. When I returned home from Annie and I's long day there was a pile of boxes stacked about 4 feet high. On top was a box that said "If this side is up, you are either under the box, or the bear inside the box is getting a headache." Tim & Jessica sent me the cutiest Vermont Teddy berry! Thanks~ The other boxes were filled with wedding gifts, it's begining to feel a lot like Christmas at our house.

Hurricane Emily blew our orginal honeymoon plans away. Fortunately our super duper travel agent found a just as wonderful alternate trip. I'm fuzzy on the details but it's some place in Mexico with a beach.

Matt and I met with Dr. Chen the medical oncologist. He was able to ease a some of my many anixities. I will probably need a chemo. Knowing that Matt and I were really wondering if I'd be able to handel this semester's grad school load. Dr. Chen left me feeling like I might just be able to handle this semester. He also confirmed that I may loose my hair :-(.

Wedding count down is t-2 days and counting~

Monday, July 18

GOOD NEWS!

Matt & I met with the doctor who removed my lymph node today. While he wasn't able to answer all of our questions he did mention that he thought that I have phase two hodgkins. (On the scale of one to four, four being the worst- 2 makes me pretty happy). The doctor believes that I will have about four months of treatment (chemo).

After the apointment we talked with people in billing, and at my insurance company. I have my medical coverage through the University of Illinois in Chicago (the school I have been attending). If I drop my classes once the semester starts, pay student fees, and a 10% of my tution for that semester I will be able to keep my health insurance. In additon to keeping my health insurance, the insurance will cover 100% of my treatment costs. !!!

As I read more and more accounts of cancer survivors and how long they feel crappy before they get a diagnoisis, I feel very blessed to have had this discovered so early. As many of you know I was in a van wreck on a mission trip that led us to discovering a mass in my chest, I know now that the wreck certainly was not an accident. We're blessed because my insurance will cover the costs. We're blesssed because by the end of the week we'll be surrounded by our family and closest friends and celebrate our marriage!

Thanks for your continued prayers!
Megan

Thursday, July 14

diagnoisis

The surgon finally returned from his extended vacation, and I recieved the lab results on the lymph node that was removed from my neck. I have Adult Hodgkin's Lymphoma (Also called Hodgkin's Disease). Which according to the E.R. doctor in Applaichia, is highly treatable and good if we catch this early. I've found the Lymphoma Information Network website to be quite helpful. ( http://www.lymphomainfo.net/lymphoma.html ) it states:

"The fact is that lymphoma treatments have gotten quite good in the last 30 years with real treatment breakthroughs in the last 10 years (and in the case of some non-Hodgkin's lymphomas treatments that are just recently developed). So the operative words are "do not panic".

I am still uncertain about details concerning my prognosis, but those will come in time.

Thanks for everyones continued thoughts and prayers in what has been a rather long wait. Those good vibrations will definately be called upon in the future.

I'll continue to update everyone via the blogg with future news.

LOVE-- Meg

Tuesday, July 12

hey gang!

Matt & I have been getting lots of calls and notes filled with 'warm fuzzies.' Thanks!
There is no news to report on the lymph node front. For now I think that perhaps no news is good news. We were told that we could have had results by last week, not having them by now is fustrateing. It was also my excuse for buying (& eating) a tube of pre-made cookie dough.

In more fun news, wedding stuff has been coming along swimmingly.
As my niece, and well rehersed flower girl, Raya reminded me today-- 'Aunt Meg, it's only 11 more days'-- which sounds soo cute in her South Carolina accent.

Tomorrow I open at starbucks - 4:45 a.m. never looked so good! Meet with Lynn Pries - the clergy who is marring us. The best part will be meeting up with Matt's uncle Steve tomorrow night and taking him to Greek Town. OPA!

Saturday, July 9

Welcome

Greetings All!

This is where I'll be updating all wedding / fun health information for everyone as things progress.

Thus far I have had a lymph node removed from my neck, as a response to Ursula ( the baseball sized lump, suspected lymph node above my heart). July 1st was the surgery, last night the 8th Matt and I had the 'best friday night ever' as the incision site swelled up to appear as if I was growing a second head. After 9 to 10 hours in the hospital, 6 doctors, and 2 nurses, I went home with nothing done. Yes, it appears as if I am indeed growing a second head it's name will be Peg. Actually their is just fluid collecting where the node was as a result of some poor stitching up from the surgon. The 6 doctors assured me that it is not infected, and that if my body doesn't absorb the fluid then they will drain it week of the wedding.

Other wise the pathology report has not returned and Ursula and my other possibly enlarged nodes have not been diagnoised.

Agian thanks for all prayers and good vibrations, they're the best!

Big LOVE- Megs