Friday, June 29

corperate sponsor?!

I have been approached to by a car company to be one of 160 a sponsored athletes. This is normally an honor that is reserved for the most elite athletes, not weekend warriors like myself. I won't be getting a big check, fancy car, a personal DJ, or any other really lucrative rewards stars receive, but for every media appearance I would make I'd get paid. I'd need to do 4 tri's this season (by October 31) . In exchange I'd get some free stuff (pricey tri apparel & a little more), plus the honor and privilege of being among the elite (the folks who will readily run over my ass when the start gun is fired).

Is this selling out? Selling my story? I can read the bi-line now, hometown girl on her way to becoming the next Lance Armstrong. All for a moment of glory.
I'd be endorsing is hybrid cars (who's against that!?)
I’m pretty excited by the possibility, and I’m trying to contain my enthusiasm until I can figure out if I'm really up for the challenge.

Wednesday, June 27

stop it.

A good friend's husband just got diagnosed with brain cancer.

I am so mad that it happened again.
I'm mad it happened to them.
I'm sad that they have to go through all the crap I did.
I want to wrap my arms around them and tell them it will be okay.
I want to protect them,
I want to give them everything I learned.
Most of all I want for them never to have to go through any of this.

Suddenly becoming like the couple that helped us get through cancer makes sense to me. They were a couple from church who just went through breast cancer. Their passion, compassion, and wisdom helped us through the foggy roads we went down. I think this has got to be what survivorship means.

Tuesday, June 26

The Learning Curve of Gratitude, Mary Chapin Carpenter

Weekend Edition Sunday, June 24, 2007 · I believe in what I learned at the grocery store.

Eight weeks ago, I was released from the hospital after suffering a pulmonary embolism. I had just finished a tour and a week after returning home, severe chest pain and terrible breathlessness landed me in the ER. A scan revealed blood clots in my lungs.

Everyone told me how lucky I was. A pulmonary embolism can take your life in an instant. I was familiar enough with the medical term, but not familiar with the pain, the fear and the depression that followed.

Everything I had been looking forward to came to a screeching halt. I had to cancel my upcoming tour. I had to let my musicians and crew members go. The record company, the booking agency: I felt that I had let everyone down.

But there was nothing to do but get out of the hospital, go home and get well.

I tried hard to see my unexpected time off as a gift, but I would open a novel and couldn't concentrate. I would turn on the radio, then shut if off. Familiar clouds gathered above my head, and I couldn't make them go away with a pill or a movie or a walk. This unexpected time was becoming a curse, filling me with anxiety, fear and self-loathing — all of the ingredients of the darkness that is depression.

Sometimes, it's the smile of a stranger that helps. Sometimes it's a phone call from a long absent friend, checking on you. I found my lifeline at the grocery store.

One morning, the young man who rang up my groceries and asked me if I wanted paper or plastic also told me to enjoy the rest of my day. I looked at him and I knew he meant it. It stopped me in my tracks. I went out and I sat in my car and cried.

What I want more than ever is to appreciate that I have this day, and tomorrow and hopefully days beyond that. I am experiencing the learning curve of gratitude.

I don't want to say "have a nice day" like a robot. I don't want to get mad at the elderly driver in front of me. I don't want to go crazy when my Internet access is messed up. I don't want to be jealous of someone else's success. You could say that this litany of sins indicates that I don't want to be human. The learning curve of gratitude, however, is showing me exactly how human I am.

I don't know if my doctors will ever be able to give me the precise reason why I had a life-threatening illness. I do know that the young man in the grocery store reminded me that every day is all there is, and that is my belief.

Tonight I will cook dinner, tell my husband how much I love him, curl up with the dogs, watch the sun go down over the mountains and climb into bed. I will think about how uncomplicated it all is. I will wonder at how it took me my entire life to appreciate just one day.

thanks for warming out house

Wow! What a weekend, it’s Tuesday and I still feel like I’m recovering. It was a whirlwind. Thanks to folks who came out to our open house on Saturday, I had no idea that we could fit so many people into our one bedroom condo. We love entertaining, and Sunday morning I couldn’t help but start thinking of our next significantly smaller shindig. We had a great mix of old friends, new friends, work friends, and special others joining in the fun.

While I’m thrilled we were able to pull of the largest party we've thrown (second to our wedding) in our condo—I am pleased that the event provoked the completion of our bathroom repairs & projects! We now have towel racks, a chair rail, and a toilet paper holder along with some great art! Both Matt and I are really impressed at how well everything turned out. Especially considering every single step of the way we had serioius doubts. The party also forced us to hang art – something that we had done sparingly prior to the event and has really made the space feel homey. Finally, after much work, money, time, and nail biting, I think I’m a little house-proud. (Kitchen, take warning. You’re next!).

Additionally, through the generosity of our friends we have made it to the half- waypoint of fund razing for Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team In Training $2000! Whoo Hooo! Thank you everyone!

Cool Quotes from our Tri Coach

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every
experience in which you really stop to look
fear in the face. You must do things that you think you can not.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.
- Unknown

Nurture the dreams that allow you to go beyond your limits.
- Unknown

Be faithful to that which exists within yourself.
–Andre Gide

Never measure the height of a mountain until you have reached the top.
– Dag Hammerskjold

Thursday, June 21

I love my cat.

Perhaps my cat is psychic, or he knows when just a little bit of revenge might make me feel better. It’s been said before that he is a spiteful, mean, and vile creature, so perhaps he can tune into my energy and sense when he could help provide a suitable punishment.

As a part of wedded bliss that is typically unspoken, occasionally very loving couples have misunderstandings. Such misunderstandings can often lead to one party sleeping on the couch. When said party opted to sneak back into the shared bed, Mr. Skitters (now known as the best cat ever) was so moved that he tossed his cookies right into said parties' open sock drawer.
Somehow just a little bit of cat puke (even if I had to clean it up, he still is my cat) managed make this party feel much better about all the previous day’s transgressions.

Monday, June 18

MATT'S HOME

YAH!
He arrived home safely yesterday with the 40-something others that he led back and forth to ASP and home. They did good work, kids had a great time, and adult volunteers had some really positive things to say when I saw them unloading.

Now that Matt's home we can work on getting things ready for our open house (see ya there!).

619

I woke up super early on Saturday and made it out to the Splish Splash Dash, my first dualathon. The entire event was fantastic, the two highligths for me were when they wrote my number on both of my arms in thick black marker, the other highlight would be finishing (not because I performed badly, but I always have such a high after finishing anything with a real finish line, and meeting personal challenges always brings tears).

I was amazed! The water was warm in clear. We had an open start, which means all the swimmers line up in the water between the bouys that mark the start line. Here is always where I make my most fatal mistake, I like to line up near the front (must have something to do with overestimateing my ablity), but as soon as the "GO" is shouted I get run over. Never fails, on foot or on bike being passed by crowds is nervewracking, but not life treatening. In the water, being passed by schools of swimmers is scary. I didn't warm my arms up well, so the feeling of being stampeeded brought on a slight anixty arm cramp, and I really wondered if I would finish. Once I powered through my nerves, aches, and let the speedy folks get out of my way I did fine. As I've noted in previous blogs, this was my first open water swim in several years, the swim course had us go clockwise through the lake. As a trainied lap swimmer I don't swim in circles well, and I struggled with staying on course throughout the swim portion of the race. While fun, I was happy to get out in run.

The 5 K (about 3 miles) traced through a lovely residential area, filled with small rolling hills. I ran most of the course, but walked up all the steep hills (chicago is flat, so I didn't want to risk injury going to hard over the hills). The most impressive part of the run, was watching the other athletes as they passed me. My goodness, these folks are good shape! Some men were running in only their Speedos, some women ran only in their Tankini's -- I threw some shorts and my TNT singlet on with my shoes.

Overall, for my first dualathon I didn't do so badly, out of a total of 67 entered in my event I finished 59! In my age group I finished 7 out of 9 with a time of 1:20 *(about 25 minutes faster than I anticipated).
I look forward participating in anothter dualathon, which isn't on the books yet, but I sure do feel better about the Sprint Tri coming up in 2 (gulp!) weeks.

Friday, June 15

+.4 and holding

I waddled in to weigh- in again yesterday. I spoke with the leader about my endurance sport weight loss concerns. She said exactly what everyone else said—don’t worry about trying to loose weight right now, but focus on not gaining. In August post triathlon, focus on loosening the extra lbs. Phew—I was a little worried about what she would say.
I was also encouraged to realize that my healthy weight range (who determines that by the way?) is a lot closer than I had originally thought. So perhaps there is a change that I can be in that range prior to my b-day.

For the moment I’m putting the weight loss topic on hold, dear bloggers I'll find other things to say. But I will return to that topic post triathlon. Again, I am really enjoying training, and finding it far more enjoyable than the marathon (which I found healing and I also enjoyed).

This weekend’s open water swim is at some small man-made lake near Wisconsin. Hopefully it will be cleaner and warmer than the Great Lake in my front yard.

Happy Weekend!

Tuesday, June 12

Gotta stop blogging or I’ll talk my self out of it. . .

Super pumped— until I see what I signed up for.

So I’m single this weekend, I have a date on Friday and Saturday (with Andrew, and Shelley respectively).
On going journey of waking-up-earlier-on-the-weekend-than-I-would-dream-of-waking-on- weekdays, today I signed my Saturday morning away for an one mile open water swim, followed by a five-k run. It’s an event called the Splish Splash Dash at Lake in the Hills, IL (Hi, Tim!).

Note: I don’t have my wet suit yet, so this swim I’m doing with a Speedo and some skin (brr). I’m hoping the goose bumps will keep me going after that first half mile.

Also, I haven’t done a ‘real’ open water swim in about 8 or so-years (Hello college --remember when I used to lifeguard for Delaware Dam? Yeah, it’s been that long.) Wooo HOOO~!

Sure, I’ve been swimming with TNT, we did ½ mile last week. umm...

I think that this is some kind of sickness—seriously, even though I have plans to hang out with great folks all weekend, I can’t wait to swim, and I’m interested to see how a 5 K will feel afterward. This really is becoming my idea of a really good time.

Monday, June 11

Snack Attack (+1 lbs)

Okay, so at weigh in on Thursday I was up another pound! The first five pounds I lost I swear melted off, getting to ten has been one uphill climb. Plus so many of the Team in Training coaches and staff LOVE to remind us that when training for an endurance event, it’s not a great time to loose weight; one, because muscle weighs more than fat, two, because you need to eat more to fuel your body for the exercise. So I’m proving all of my coaches’ right, I really can’t seem to loose weight right now.

A good pal recommended taking measurements and monitoring those rather than using a scale—good idea! I just need to find that darn tape. But it was exciting to try on clothes one size smaller this weekend.

I have made a few changes – not only am I packing my lunch everyday, now I’m packing my snacks too. My office snacking is way out of control, so I needed to address it and use those snacks as ways to get more fruit and veggies. So I’ve started combining things like soy cheese sticks with apples, crackers with grapes, a 100-calorie bag of microwave popcorn with pears, my cup of coffee with one measured serving of a high fiber cereal.

Here’s my diet question this week, how do you handle office snack attacks?

In other non-diet related news, Matt is at ASP this week. Lucky for me, old and new friends have gathered around to keep me busy.

Thursday, June 7

yet another nutrition clinic

Yes, Yes, Yes, Muscle weights more, way more, than fat. So I'm not expecting to drop any lbs this week, but my old size 12's have got some extra room, and I'm feeling pretty buff going sleeveless today.

matt and I did, yet another, TNT nutrition clinic for endurance athletes. Things we learned:
1) Eat a rainbow of fruits and veggies every day (that doesn't mean candy).
2) Eat 6 small meals a day to keep metabolism up
3) Drink lots of water, and the week before the event carb up by eating 50 to 80 bananas (that is if you're not a banana-hater like mr. matt).
4) When eating pasta to carbo load the night before the big event, keep in mind that some pastas 'come up' easier than others-- so stick to those! (gross! gross! gross! I, for one, have never hurled while doing endurance sports or enduring chemo-- but for those with weaker tummies this could be something of importance to know).

Mr. Matt is leaving for ASP on Saturday (for his 7th or 8th time)! Send him warm happy thoughts next week, and prayers, I'm sure he and the 40 odd teens and parents with him will need it!

Monday, June 4

Thinking of Linda *(laura’s mom)

In a diet related / domestic duty this weekend I attempted to gather about 10 or so really good fall back recipes for dinners. A task that was sparked from WW meetings and the TNT nutrition clinic. The dietician at the clinic recommended having a back up of ten or so recipes, and keeping most of those ingredients on hand.

So I looked at the notes in my cookbooks (something I learn from Grandma), and went about making a list of really good healthy things. Keeping in mind the standard things that we receive from our co-op. (The majority of what I eat anymore is determined by the organic co-op Matt and I joined and LOVE! I’m sure if you’ve read this blog long enough, or spoken to us you’ve heard us rave about this!) Happily the task was much easier than I anticipated, and there is now a list on the frig of dinner ideas.

On a regular basis we get greens like kale, spinach, swiss chard, and beet greens—things I didn’t grow up eating! So in looking for recipes I’m looking for things loaded with veggies, spice, that don’t need a lot of cheese. This weekend I discovered kale with polenta, and a baked curried tofu with cauliflower—both yum!


What made the list?
Simple things like:
Canned soup (non-cream based), Salads, Quesadas, Rice and Beans, Bean Burritos, & stir-fries.
More Complex things like:
Curries with tofu, Sautéed Greens, enchiladas, pastas with pesto,

What's not on the list?
take out menus, heat and serve frozen stir-fries, easy mac, anything breaded that has to be baked, other items that are so loaded with preservitives that mold won't eat it, white rice, and white pastas.

Do you even have one?
What’s on your list (or menu)?

Friday, June 1

The shameful weigh in.

I gained 1.6 this week.

Lesson learned: Even if one does ride their bike 80 miles in a week (Bike the Drive, plus 2 days of bike commuting) that doesn't give me a free pass to eat or drink whatever I want.

I really want to believe that my activity levels are high enough that I can eat whatever I want-- but hell, I believed that even when I was thinking 'Hmm, these pants are snug, I should loose weight.'

So Megan Myth of Weight-loss, proven here for you, even if you work out (a lot) you still can't eat whatever you want.

This week I've got my activity planed, but I don't have my menu together for the week-- I just have a really good idea of what's in my frig. Menu planning tends to happen on the weekend. I'll let you know where I'm at on Monday.

So hopefully the shame of tracking my success and shame here on the blog will help me this week lose my goal of 2 lbs.


I hope that this self improvement stuff is interesting to read, on the bright side I'm posting more so even if it isn't all that interesting, it changes.