Rage Against the Fruitcake!

Ahh the holidays are quickly approaching. Which can only mean one thing as a member of my family . . .fruitcake season.
As a peace loving, tree hugger, I try not to use my blog for political causes, but I must take this divisive, yet firm, stand against fruitcakes.
Far too many holiday party guests have been scared away, too many nights of one too many car accidents have been caused by drunken fruitcake eaters, and do not forget that America is in midst of an obesity epidemic! Worst of all fruitcake is bad for America, this potent mix of cake, fruit, and booze could be the root of terrorism. All of these reasons and many many more are why I'm not only the proud founder of the Society for the Alternative Uses of Fruitcake (SAUF); I'm a member of the society too!

So when you get your fruitcake (and I know many of you will), I urge you (and your intestines do too) to find an Alternative use for that fruitcake. If you don't know what to do with your fruitcake, and are rightfully too afraid to eat it here are some ideas:

• Spare tires (work equally well on trailers)
• The hubby & I have found that it makes terrific body armor if you happen to walk into a gang fight.
• Really good bait for homeless folks with 'substance issues'
• A hockey puck
• A pillow for a seat - it is very comfy on your behind
• Alternative housing. Collect fruitcakes until you have enough to build a new home. It works great as insulation. Beats straw bale and cardboard construction to pieces.
• Use it to drive nails for hanging pictures when you can't find a hammer.
• Christmas tree stand. It'll hold your tree straight and not tip over.
• At your next company holiday party - Shove into the mouth of someone who talks too much.
  

Please post how you plan on alternately using your fruitcake!

What a weekend

It's been a bit of a whirlwind weekend here.
Friday we got snow (in case you didn’t see the news), about a foot-- kindly when I got up at 5 a.m. to see the lightning with snow combo-- Matt let me take the car to work.. I was a dummy and drove in that mess, but made it with only nearly hitting a pedestrian. That evening we threw an impromptu Christmas party, where all who were invited were then forced to decorate our apartment for Christmas. While they did a great job, there is something about Christmas lights lining the ceiling of a room that reminds me of my days living in dorms.

Saturday, Matt made pancakes and then went to work to make cookies with Jr Highers. I stayed home, went on a run, helped Andrew buy a tree, purchased the most pathetic x-mas tree ever, made calzones for this weeks lunch, and to top it all off went to the Chicago Movie Club (or my friend Shane's "Secret Movie Club"). The Club was celebrating the birthday of Woody Allen. Good times!

Sunday, Church, lunch at the pastor's house (yikes!), train back to ‘civilization,’ then decorating Andrew's tree with Kurt.

I'm so glad the weekends keep me busy because my weekdays could lull someone into a comma.

quicky update

I never ever imagined I'd get paid to read. Second I never imagined I'd get paid to read text books. Is this what having a full ride scholarship feels like? I wonder. Well for now I'm just repeating my third grade math lessons as a temp. Yup, I'm schelping to the burbs as a temp to read text books. Not my dream job, but I know someone folks who might dig it. It's a gig for the moment, and I'm really polishing up on my math skills.

Thanksgiving was fun, Matt and I hauled our butts to Green Bay to give thanks for all the new little Krings-lings (seriously there were 3 folks under 18 mos present). After much eating and drinking we made it to Matt's folks house for a day of what in the third world would be called 'free labor.' The Pa-In Law put Matt, his bro, & his sis to work. New to the family Nora wisely stayed out of the way, I prepared my 'dirt farm / worms for winter. Poor Matt didn't even get a chance to shower-- As projects progressed and mid day came and passed Matt made a mad dash for the car, and we snuk away (I love family, but I really love being home directing the husbands energy to tasks around our house).

More updates to come. I'm hoping to land a real gig soon

Enough!

I LOVE this apartment.

It's huge, it's close to the lake, close to various forms of public transit, amazing diversity, and the A-man & T-dog are less than a ten-minute walk away. But I would pass this all up to get rid of my college-aged neighbors. I have no desire to relive dorm life every evening from 11 p.m. to 5 a.m. No Thank You!
Really, is it necessary to have band practice at midnight under my bed? Or to hear the others come home from the bar at 4 a.m. Then have a knock down drag it our top of your lungs argument, above? Really?
Additionally the one thing that made this apartment do-able was Matt's super cheap amazingly close parking spot. All along we've said it's a blessing, and have said without it we didn't think we could live here. In December our parking spot will become Condo's. Matt will return back to the rat race of circleing for parking every evening after his hour long commute home.

SO, could someone please give me a decent job in Chicago that I don't have to buy a car for? Please!? This way we can stop renting our lovely apartment, with the annoying neighbors above and below us, in the neighborhood that scares friends and family with no parking. maybe then we can finally buy a place, and stop renting.

Just because the Marathon is over doesn't mean that you can't stop giving to Team in Training!
Here's my website:

http://www.active.com/donate/tntil/tntilMHutchi

Also if you think you may want to try training for a marathon, triathlon, or century bike ride check out Team in Training's program:

www.teamintraining.org

Thanks everyone for their support!

26.2 I did it!

I kicked asphalt, and here are the photo's to prove it! I ran most of the race with my TNT friends. I did nearly the enitre race with the awesome Sara Cears (pronounced Cheers)! She's a real power house of good energy and can do attitude! Matt, Andrew, & my in-laws had one heck of a day watching the marathon and seeing all sorts of exotic Chicago spots!

I'm not in this photo. I may be a yellow dot in the far off distance-- I crossed the start line 22 minutes after the offical start. It seems as if my other 40,000 closest pals were in a hurry.


Jerry, Andrew, & Kathy enjoying brunch at Orange while I'm slechlping my way through the North side (and the first ten miles).

This is a little before the half way point. There were some really cool folks playing Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" so all the runners I was with were yelling 'Ahh Half Way There.' AWESOME!

This is me at about the 20 / 23 mile marker visiting with veiwers Matt & Kathy. I like this photo because it has the Sears Tower in the background, and the hard working observers with myself.

This was me in the 'bite me' zone. I lost all my runing pals and my right foot was going "What the HELL are you doing to me?!?!" I didn't have the ability to stop and start to say hi, so I waved at the camara and kept going. Note all of the other walkers, this was about the 20 mile mark.

Shortly after the picture above I found Sara in the crowd, and we finished strong together! In fact we divereted from out walk 2 minutes run 3 plan at the end and ran the last mile (which is on an incline) together! She rocks!

OH MY WORD!

Ahhhh!!! The Marathon is only 1 and a half days away!!!

• 6 months of training. check
• gear laid out check
• driven and visualized my self running the course. Check & Check
• Figured out where to park down town CHECK
• 
  

TO DO'S

• carbo load- - fun & easy
• pick up registration pack - no problem
  
• get gear for running in the SNOW! - WTF!!!!
  
• practice running in the snow - IT AIN'T HAPPENIN'

My friend's who forcast weather arent' being very nice!

Thanks for everyone's call and support as I did the job interveiw circut this week. I had two in person interviews, and two phone interveiws. All seem somewhat promiseing, but at this point I really don't know if anything will turn up. It's a matter of playing the waiting game at this point. Fingers & Fins still crossed.

If I'm able to type on Monday I'll give a play by play.

Interviews!

Two job interviews this week and the marathon to boot!

Send happy thoughts my way as I interview on Monday morning and Thursday afternoon. Monday I'll be interviewing at the Shedd Aquarium for a grant writing postion, Thursday a similar postion for a domestic violence center.

I'm SUPER interested in writing grants for fish. So fingers (and fins) crossed everyone! Thus far I'm not too worried about the marathon, bigger fish to fry (pardon the pun) for the moment!

Fall Fun & Alter Boyz!

I had a lovely weekend picking apples with Andrew & the lovely Laura in Michigan. I have more apples I can shake a stick at (see Andrew's blog for some terrific photos!), and thus have made a little less apple butter than I can shake a stick at. Michigan has been a place I've never spent much time, but our time in Coldwater was beautiful, maybe it was the open road, fall air, old friends, apples, margaritas, or the wine tasting but I came home filled with fall goodness.

How does one follow such a lovely weekend? Well, celebrating with even more old friends. I was thrilled and greatly blessed to welcome some LaRue-ites to the big city, as a high school and church play made his debut as a lead in the touring company off Broadway hit of 'Alter Boyz.' A hilarious musical about a catholic boy band! This role was MADE for Ryan, and he steals the show! So my theater buff friends, and my non-theater buff friends you simply MUST see the show, they are in town for three weeks, or you can catch them when they come to your town-- but you simply MUST see it! www.altarholics.com

So now that all that excitement has passed, I’m left with the daunting task of finding employment. (Sigh!) I've become a pro at getting my resume out there, but for every 20 résumé’s I send out I'm getting one 'gee, thanks for sending us this resume. Don't call us we'll call you' note. This finding a job business is not for the light of heart.

20 miles!!!

This weekend was our longest run ever, 20 miles! All week I’d been preparing for pain and agony through out the hours I’d spend trekking the distance. I would break down the distance into sizeable chunks in my head, then imagine myself running it—and it worked! I made it! It was my best run to date, I totally felt like I could have squeezed another 6.6 miles in to round it into my first marathon. I’m feeling ready and excited, now all I have to do is wait another 22 days for the event!

On our 18 mile run, I surpassed a level of lazy runner, which few of my running buddies imagined. I stopped on a bench around the 15-mile mark, and I took a nap! The distance was great; I made a poor decision to run with a slight cold, and an even worse decision to tackle a distance that great after taking a Sudafed. The 18-mile run took significantly more time and effort than the 20 mile this weekend, in short - Lesson learned.

Sadly, Thursday was my last day at my summer gig, so the job hunt is hot and heavy. After some conversations with co-workers and friends I’ve been persuaded that many of my strengths would make me really good at fund raising/ development for a university or hospital, or Quality Assurance within a non-profit. In the meantime I’m hoping to temp around the city, it’s not great money but it’s an income better than slinging coffee, with better hours.

Also! I’m searching for the right soundtrack for the marathon for my Mp3 player—Suggestions?

blog guilt & lack there of

I must admit not blogging for the last bit of time was nice. But then I still read and check and look for updates from my fellow bloggers, and I realize that I'm not playing fair.

Seeing as when I was posting every week or every two weeks I was reporting on health concerns- It's nice not to have to do that anymore. Sure I still see more doctors than the average person-- but to those without children, or who hope to, I say wait. Someday you're child will make you spend more time in an emergency room from repetivly shoving gum up their left nosteral, like my friend Amy Anderson's brother Tad kept doing in the second grade.

So now that I'm enjoying my health I continue to train for the marathon (ack! it's coming very very very soon!), and i'm job hunting (career leads anyone?). I've had a handful of interveiws, and I think I'll be having some more in the near future. I've unfortunatly discovered that I've obtained a master's degree that will enable me to somehow make less money than I did when I got out of undergrad. Perhaps I'm regressing through the payscale. So perhaps I need to return to what has worked in the past, lifegaurding. It's nice to know at least lifegaurds in Chicago make more than I did when I was a teenager-- but then again they do have an awfully long 'off season.' In all seriousness I'll be moving into the land of temps soon-- phew!

So still not the best photo ever.
But here's a shot of me on the day of the big interview (not to air until after Labor Day at 11:30 a.m.).

my running hair

Two completely different topics, but slightly related.

First:  I didn’t put any product in my hair the other night.  Other cancer survivors who re-grow their hair they get those ‘cute chemo curls’ or the hair they always wanted.  Grant me this moment of vanity—I LOVED my pre-cancer hair!  As a second grader I recall the hands of teachers petting the top of my head, and in college and beyond women would make envious statements.  
Don’t get me wrong, my current hair is better than the No Hair of several months ago—and I’m grateful for what my follicles have been pushing out—but Follicles, can you dig deep and push up some of that old stuff?  With out product in my hair I have a white girl ‘fro.  It ain’t cutesy curly it’s foamy frizz. Think bad clown wig in blond.  
Thank God for ‘product!’

Second!

Tomorrow is the Chicago Distance Classic a HALF MARATHON!

Thanks to everyone for their tremendous support.  Running has become a great gift, in fact it doesn’t suck nearly as much as it did when I first started. What I love about training with Team in Training is that I’m with other survivors, people touched by cancer, or people out there doing a good thing and pushing themselves to a new limit.

This entire year for me has been one of pushing myself to a new level.  One where I become the person I’ve always wanted to be, and I’m proud to be (even with my ‘fro).  

Fairwell Jane Addams

Last Thursday was my final grad school class! I’m done (well I’m waiting on my grades, but nearly certain that I’m done with school).  Why haven’t I blogged about this earlier? Well, I was putting off important work projects in order to complete the necessary homework to complete the classes I’ve been taking. While my under grad experience was NOTHING like graduate school, the experience was good nonetheless, and hopefully now I can command a greater salary when I start that job hunt.

I’m at my current placement until Oct 31. It’s an okay position, but most importantly it meets all my job requirements: 1. Don’t work with people I strongly dislike (at least no more than 3) 2. Not having to own a car (in fact tomorrow I’m going to ‘bike commute’ for the first time—I can’t wait, I’ve been waiting so long for the opportunity!) 3. Doing something that I believe in or betters the world I live in some small way.  If things work out so I can stay there longer, great. If not, that’s okay too- at least I know what’s important to me.

Otherwise I’m coping with a sudden sense of boredom that is somewhat panic free for the first time in nearly a year! What a rush!

news worthy

I'm a little floored. The local ABC news station is going to do a story on me. They approached Team In Training wanting to do a story on a cancer survivor who is training for the marathon. The folks at TNT threw out some names, thought of me, and then gave me a call.

I'm flattered to be news worthy, and excited to talk about the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society-- also a little hesitant about being on TV. It's not the talking on TV that's the big deal but they want me to run. I know it's silly, but when I think about women who run on TV, I think of the intro to Bay Watch.

hot time summer in the city

Sorry it's been soo long, between posts. As par for the course, everything always happens at once. Work is crazy nutty busy, and with only one week of classes (3 more assignments to more precise) standing between me and my MSW things are busy. Plus I firmly believe that there is some kind of link between nice weather in Chicago and me being too busy or otherwise occupied to truly enjoy it. Training for the marathon has definitely been a great way to build some 'outdoors' time in my normally indoors routine (office/bus/apartment/classroom).

This weekend I ran ten miles! My Team in Training Co-horts and I started a 7 a.m. in 85 degree heat. We run in the beautiful park near my apartment that follows the lakeshore. In addition to the heat the lake effect gave us some extra humidity. At the end of the run the temp was pushing low 90's and everyone I was running with was SOAKED in sweat. (I managed to do this in about 2 hours and 20 minutes) One woman looked like she had fallen in the lake her shorts were so sopping wet. By the time I walked myself home after the run, my knees were seriously considering filing for divorce. Luckily some ice, Tylenol, and a shower persuaded my patella to stay put.

It's Sunday now, and I'm attempting to work on the three projects to due this week. But the temp is 95 right now, and my attention span is nearly shot. So perhaps I'll do laundry. . or . . well. . Anything but homework.

Me in March 

Still Crazy

Sorry for the delay's in posts. I really wanted to promote the party. Thanks to all who attended, together we raised $750! Good Job!

I had a strange realization a couple weeks ago that my life now has a renewed sense of freedom I haven't had in about a year. I don't have any doctor's appointments on the books until next month, and no tests planned between times. It's a relife but it's also odd. Do I really trust that my cells won't start going haywire again?

This last weekend was a blast! With the party on Friday, and all my immedate family in Chicago on Saturday, then tickets to see the AWESOME Paul Simon in Milwaukee-- Matt & I have neglected attending the proper 4th of July festivities in order to get some rest. (What's that? I have a grant for work, a paper for school, and about 8 miles of run / walking to fit into tomorrow- i guess today- plus a parade and pals!)

I know it's always something -- but these somethings still beat all the other somethings I've already endured.

PAR-TAY!

Treatment is over, and now it's time to celebrate! So mark your calanders now!!!

~The Kicking Cancer's Ass Party~
(Invites to follow)

Friday June 30th 7 to 9 p.m.
at the Arlington Heights FUMC
All are welcome!

There will be a silent auction to benefit the Leukemia and Lymphomia Society
(for family-- Sharon & Guy will be migrating up, which is reason enought to come on down!)

Summer's here and the time is right!

Counting My Blessings

• I haven't had to go to the hospital in a week!
• My eyebrows have returned to their proper locations
• I no longer have to wear a hat to leave the house (although I do occassionally choose to wear some of the really cute ones I've recieved).
• My ability to swallow has returned.
• SUMMER IS HERE!!

The offical training for the marathon started two weeks ago. About the same time I stopped the steroiods. So I'm jsut begining to fathom what I've signed myself up for. I ran/walked 4 miles this morning, and while it took me a while to ease into it by the end I felt great. Body parts are aching, and I'm getting a start on my summer tanlines (look out bridesmaid dresses!).

Summer classes start next week, and who could forget the migration of Andrew (with STELLA) to a mere 3 ish blocks away! I need to mention that he has a steal of an apartment, and will be very lovely.

DONE!

'nuf said

I'm glad i'm not a giraffe

Hey guys! TOMORROW IS MY LAST RADIATION TREATMENT!!!!!!!!!!

Over all it hasn't been nearly as awful as chemo was, but it certainly isn't all too much fun. I've mentioned in the past that it's a drag to get over to the hospital daily, but as treatment as gone on the effects are begining to surface. The area that is being treated is from middle of my neck and throat to the bottom of my rib cage, and while most of this area feels normal over the weekend I developed a wicked mean sore throat.

Monday and Tuesday it's been a challenge to suck down water. When I mentioned this to all the medical professionals in Radiation i got a couple of high powered Rx's that will take the edge off, and provide for some good naps. This feeling is remincent of having my tonsils taken out, a sore acheyness that doesn't fade, like two scratchy velcro balls rubbing against each other. Even thought tomorrow is the last treatment, I can count on the side effects sticking around for another week or so afterward- gross.

Behold the end is in sight!

I started Radiation a week ago Wednesday. This consists of getting up early, fighting traffic to the hospital, arriving at the hospital, changing into one of those lovely backless gowns, waiting for doctors, then actual treatment. The entire ordeal perhaps takes a couple hours if one factors in the commute and wait time. Radiation it’s self takes maybe ten minutes. It’s SO much easier than chemo. I trek down to the basement of the hospital down a long deep corridor, past two large metal doors, to a room that has soft music playing, a long cold table, and several pieces of large machinery. I lie on the table, where there is a smurf blue mold of my head that the radiation techs will secure me to ensure that I don’t move during the process, and needlessly radiate some perfectly good part of my body. I like to think of this as the worst pillow ever. Then my table is raised a good four feet in the air, where I lay directly under a big orb that looks like the biggest salon style hair dryer ever- except rather than the middle being hollow—the middle of this is filled with all the things necessary to shoot electrical radiation in precise points in ones body.

Once I’m secure, elevated, and all those stickers I’m still wearing are lined up, the tech’s leave the room, close the massive doors, and once they are a safe distance away, they start the machine. There’s a loud buzz for about a minute, and the ‘BEAM ON’ light over my shoulder turns on, then the hair dryer orb then rotates to my back side (this is why I’m up so high in the air), and shoots me from the backside. Soon afterwards the techs return to the room, lower me down, detach me from my smurfy mold, and I’m good to go. It’s a painless procedure, the only side effect I can tell, is that by the end of the day I’m beat—but adding another 2 hours of running around in anyone’s packed day, I think could do that.

Next Thursday will be my last radiation, and I’m finished with treatment!~

In other more domestic news, Mr. Skitters had a big week. Last Friday he insisted that we let him out at some crazy hour of the morning, and never returned! Matt & I placed posters around or building, but when a week had past, and our posters had been ripped down, we assumed that was the last we had seen of our cat.

Low & behold, yesterday we got a call from a local ‘no kill pet shelter.’ One of our neighbors turned our cat in, and another neighbor turned in our poster. And after a trip to the shelter, a couple fines (which were less than his average vet bills!), and some cat parent counseling Matt & I were reunited with our kitty!

Thoughts on Radiation-- or sympathy for a baked potato

On par for the medical system, I was supposed to start radiation today, but because a scan they took 2 weeks ago didn’t exactly line up with the scan they took today. So the scar / mass / tumor / did not get nuked today, but maybe Wednesday.

Instead they marked me up like a frog about to be dissected by 8^th graders. Seriously – no cool tattoos, but a sharpie marker and some clear stickers from my upper chest to the bottom of my rib cage. With the warning not to ‘scrub too hard’ when showering.

If you gave me a much-needed hat this winter, this week I was able to pass on the blessing to other folks who are experiencing involuntary molting! Thank You!

Have you hugged a tree today?

Hey the link to my website now works!

I have come to terms that my husband and I are bi-products of the 60's. This Saturday was Earth Day, and I didn't realize until the day had passed how Earth friendly I was. As many of you know we only have one car. Matt was on retreat all weekend, so I drove an I-Go car. I-go is a car sharing program through out several major cities (http://216.211.131.236/chicago-i-go/), I then took all our old computers to get recycled, before going home I picked up are organic produce at the co-op. I'd like to contend that it's easy and fun to be green!

You want to what?

Last month I participated in the Shamrock Shuffle (a 5 k walk in downtown Chicago). Through this experience I encountered and organization that will train folks for a marathon, triathlon, or century bike rides, while people train they also fund raise for research on Lymphoma and Leukemia.

I went to an informational meeting last night, all the people sitting next to me were shuffling their chairs away as they showed a touching video that made me cry and talked about the impact their organization has had on the disease and on the lives of patients and families. Matt and I have been SO blessed through my cancer process to have AMAZING student health insurance that has covered nearly everything fully. By not having to worry about finances, I was able to fully focus on recovery. I can barely grasp the stress and frustration of folks who don’t have that option.

Can I do it? Well, minus some lung damage from the chemo drugs, I believe that I can. I’ll be doing a run / walk or a walk/run—my focus isn’t to ‘run’ the marathon, as much as it is to complete it, raise money for an important cause, and get back into my pre-cancer (or better than) shape.

One of my great motivators was learning last week that with radiation I’ll have be more prone to other cancers (especially breast, which is what my mother’s mother died of). The radiologist advised that diet and exercise are going to be my best weapons against the return of any future cancers. During chemo I couldn’t continue with my typical workouts, and I barely had the energy to get around during the day. So I’m so grateful to be able to workout again—and it feels great!

I’m still working on the link from here to my TIT site, but I’ll be keeping you posted on everything. (isn’t it exciting that the same place you read about my treatment, will also be the same place you can read about what it’s like to train for a marathon?)

things are happening

Thanks for the prayers that I’ll get a job. My internship offered me a full time paid position to stay full time in my current role for the life of the grant that I’m working on. The grant will expire in the fall, with some small to slim chances that we’ll find the funds to continue on. The money is far from good, but better than working at Starbucks for another summer. It’ll be good networking, and we’re always working on new grants, so there is a possibility of promotions and raises depending on if we receive many of the grants we apply for.

Another plus is that the hours are supper flexible. I’ll be able to finish up my final two grad school classes. They’re willing to work with me with all my crazy doctor’s appointments. Heck, I may have the time to train for that marathon I’m still considering running in the fall.

Chemo is OVER! Radiation around the bend.

Just celebrateing once again that CHEMO IS DONE! According to my oncologist, the cute yoda ish Dr. Chen, it's done enough damage. My lungs are permently scared, I've gained 20 lbs, lost the ability to grow hair for several months, had hair vanish, spent months worrying about every person around me was a germ carrier wtih super nova germs ready to knock out what remained of my immune system, and so much more.

sigh-- IT'S OVER!

Radiation will probably start after Easter. The side effects are minimal compaired to chemo. I'll go to the hospital every weekday, for how ever long the dr's deam apporpriate, treatment should only take a couple minutes (some compare it to an x-ray).

It's good to know that the worst is over and that the end is in sight!

just kicking some ideas around

Sorry to have such a gap in posts recently. There hasn't been a ton to report.

Here’s an idea I’m kicking around: This weekend I completed the Shamrock Shuffle 5k walk, held in downtown Chicago. I signed up to do this month’s ago with the hopes of getting an idea of when other walks or fitness events would be this summer. While I did accomplish my goal of figuring out when other walks are I discovered a group called Team in Training. They train individuals for marathons, or triathlons while those participants raise funds for Lymphoma and Leukemia research. It's been a goal of mine to complete a marathon before I'm 30 (which is growing closer and closer). In order to go through the process I'd need to raise $2000. I'm wondering how receptive all you blog readers would be in sponsoring me as I train for the Chicago Marathon? Here's a link to the organization's website: http://www.teamintraining.org/

Health wise there isn't much to report, I've been returning to my position as a hospital lab rat. My oncologist wants to make sure he can track all of the chemo damage prior to starting radiation. I was hoping for radiation to have started by now, but at this rate I'm predicting it'll start sometime in April and stretch into May (just a guess from me).

There is a month left to this semester. Classes thus far have been a cakewalk, but all the projects for the semester are due this month-- so this next month should prove to be a little more difficult. I'm signing up for two classes this summer, and then I'll be done with graduate school. Any one know of some great job out there?

HEY WHAT' HAPPENED TO MY BLOG?

i don't know what kind of malfunction came over my blog the last several days, but i think posting may fix it. shoot an e-mail at me if you have difficulty in the future.

There is a month left in the semester! Which will be a month of finishing group projects, and probably starting radiation. From what I've read and been told the most common side of radiation (and some group projects) is exhaustion. While the nearly 2 months off of chemo have been wonderful, i know that i certainlly don't have the energy i did before treatment. So I would apprecate prayers to help me: give cancer the final kick in the ass, finish the semester, and starting my career!

Thanks for the prayers thus far-- They've really helped Matt & I weather the worst of this.

My Hero- Capt. Duct Tape! (swoon)

maybe the end is in sight?

I've had a month without treatment, so that my body can produce the best results possible for the various tests I've had. I feel great, I'm definitely not in the same condition I was in pre treatment, but the best I've been in a while.

Matt & I visited Dr. Chen today. We went in with our expectations very low, we've learned from experience that this maybe the best way to handle doctors. I was expecting to hear that I'd need two more rounds of treatment plus radiation. As things stand right now, Dr. Chen is 'leaning' towards radiation and maybe no more chemo. February's tests indicate no activity in the mass. Yeah!

For the time being more tests are on the books, no chemo is scheduled, and I'll see the docs next week for a better idea of what we may be doing next.

It's great to think that maybe the end of this is all much nearer than I've imagined! Even better to think of getting on with life!

lots. . .locks for love

Last summer seems a like lifetime ago. The trip to ASP seems so foggy, with only parts of that get vividly re-hashed in my brain. The complete and total fear of rolling in van with youth group kids, and the first breath I took after knowing they were all okay. What played out next no one anticipated. It was in that Appalachia emergency room with two of those same kids, and one of their parents when a suspect mass in my chest became known. Fear and disbelief were my immediate feelings. I’m still stunned by the events that played out that day, and I often forget that for the others in the van this wasn’t just any car wreck either.

Last week one of the girls in the van cut off her beautiful long auburn tresses for Locks of Love, an organization that makes wigs for cancer patients. I’m touched by the compassion of this young lady, and proud to know her. I have a very special love for the kids I shared that day and moment with, and I’m grateful for them all.

more of the same.

I visited the oncologist today, and he said nothing that surprized me. The CT scan I did last week shows that the lympnodes in my chest are still enlarged, but may or may not be active cancer. So I'm out of treatment for the month of Feb, I'll be having a PET scan at the end of the month, which will give the docs a better idea of how much of the yucky stuff is still remaining and how much more treatment I'll need.

For now I know starting in March I'll be marching back to chemo for at least two more rounds, and the jury is still out on radiation.

SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER -- that is if you trust rodents for your weather forcast.

Perhaps it's just that we've made it half way through (a thankfully rather mild) winter and I'm just looking for an excuse to party-- but Groundhog's day in the last several years has made it's way to the top in Meg's book of favorite holidays.

Here's to hoping for a speedy Spring!

FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!

I think when I was first diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease I felt incredibly lonely, and very afraid. My journey has never been one where I have ever actually been alone; amazing survivors have surrounded me and I endured treatment at the same time as some of my mother's friends. I have a new understanding of how fearfully common cancer has become. I was shocked to return to school and discover that four of my classmates had family members or were personally touched by a cancer diagnosis over the holiday. I've read that anywhere between 1 in every 4 people to one in every 6 people will in their lifetime have cancer. What's happening??? While I'm very lucky to have one of the MOST treatable (and I'll even go so far to say one of the more endurable treatments) types of Cancer, there is still a LONG way to go.

As I realize I have a larger reader base for this blog than I ever imagined. I believe that this is my tool to inform others about cancer, find some great resources, and ultimately encourage HEALTH! I want to encourage you to go to www.cancer.org and do the Great American Health Check!

Allow me to step off my soapbox and share something that no one ever shared with me about Chemo. Chemo brain.

It's now documented that many individuals who undergo chemotherapy experience 'cognitive problems.' One survivor shared the story of staring at her microwave soon after treatment and just cringe, because she couldn't recall how to use it! For me, I've been able to continue using most household equipment with only my typical snafus. Alas - as always, it's my internal mouth filter that seems to have shut off. For instance I implied that one of the heavier nurses was pregnant (when she wasn't), other time's I flashed my new credit card- while exclaiming "Isn't it so pretty?" Besides that, really simple things become hilarious. Candyland & Pass the Pigs are more fun during treatment than when I was small. This week Matt & I watched Dodgeball, a Ben Stiller movie that I've seen a couple times. It must have been the drugs, because I NEVER recalled it being so funny before. Must be Chemo brain. Lucky for me the effects will wear off before class on Tuesday.

I've now completed 6 full sessions of Chemo, lost the majority of my body hair, but have managed to have a hairstyle that more resembles David Letterman than Donald Trump. The next couple weeks will be filled with tests and scans-- all which I hope will indicate that I'm very close to having completed treatment!

feelin' groovey

It has been a GREAT weekend. I haven't had what I've considered to be a GREAT weekend in a long long time. I attribute this to a couple things a sense of re-gaining some control over my health from a cooking class, a wonderful Sabbath at church, and fabulous friends & family! – Thus leading to my on going 'OH MY GOD I HAVE CANCER' shock finally wearing off.

The shock wearing off may have to do with my renewed sense of having some control over my health that I gained in a cooking class sponsored by The Cancer Project I went to on Saturday. Foods play a big part in how our bodies run (duh), and certain foods play a BIG part in growing and preventing cancer. What I eat is what I choose to bathe my cells in-- and high fat & sugary foods are cancer feeders. The Cancer Project advocates a vegan lifestyle for individuals who are concerned about getting, have, or are survivors of cancer. (Disclaimer-- yeah, I know this ain't for everyone). A knowledgeable chef / breast cancer survivor lead the class, and then made some really yummy food. While the class was relatively short, I came away realizing that what I eat is the # 1 thing I can do to help my body during treatment, and keep me out of chemo lounges in the future. (I know I can't do justice to the class- a link to their website is on the side bar, I encourage you to check it out).

In un-cancer related stuff Sunday was just a great day! I went to church, and for the first time in a LONG time felt really inspired, hopeful, and uplifted. I then spent the afternoon with old friends, and the evening at discussing one of my favorite books with the congregation's book club. I'll be the first to admit that I have a love / hate relationship with the church, but I have to say that the congregation of 1st United Methodist Arlington Heights has been a wonderful community to be a part of. After my ministry experiences, it's great to nurtured and cared for by this congregation. Perhaps I never really expected much from this church, therefore making me pretty easy to impress at this point. Or perhaps (and more like it I suspect) God's miraculous work has always been to bring the right people (and van wrecks) into one's life at the exact right time. My entire experience of cancer has been deeply rooted in this church, and I'm very grateful for that.

I have a renewed gratitude for my friends this week! This has been a perspective changing journey, one in which the truest of colors of all who I hold dear have been revealed. I am learning who my real friends are in this experience, and what it means to be a real friend. While I may not say it enough-- thank you! It’s these friendships that sustain me & fill me with joy in a not too joyful time. On the flip side I feel disappointed in a long time friend, who may or may not realize that he/she isn't being a good friend. Elements of that revelation have been disappointing, but for the majority I am blessed by the remarkable friends and family who accompany me.

ROUND 6

I started the 6th round today. And even though I spent every day this week at the Medical Center, the most useful information that I recieved came from the Nurse Practioner administering my treatment.

What I found out:
I'm definately getting 8 rounds of chemo. Then depending what everything looks like after the re-staging that will be done after the 6th and 8th cycles the doctors will determine if I'll need radiation. Feb. will be a month of tests, putting the potenial end of chemo (I say tenatively) in April.

hanging in there.

Returning to Routine

Ah, the holiday's are over! BIG sigh of relief. Normalcy as I know it has returned. This week I returned to my internship, resumed classes, and returned to the UIC Medical Center daily. It's good to be back (well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad)! Although spending last week on the couch reading was wonderful!

Health Update:
I visited my oncologist this week. Things are on track. I'll start my 6th round of Chemo this Friday, and finish this round by the end of the month. Afterwards I'll be 're-staged.' Which will include a CT Scan. Which will hopefully show only the scar tissue of the mass, then (2 to 3 weeks later) I'll have a PET scan (which could translate to a treatment free February!).

School Update:
I'm taking two classes, and working at my internship 24 hours a week. I've opted to take my electives this summer when there are smaller classes and a broader variety of topics to study. My classmates will graduate this spring, and I'll be done mid-July. Then it's the good ole' job hunt for me!~ (anyone wanna give me a job?I'll be cancer free soon-- hint, hint?)

Other Odd Things:
I went to a Lymphoma networking group at Glida's Club last week. In speaking with other folks with various forms of lymphatic cancer, as a group we realized that we no longer had arm hair. Odd, yes. Had I noticed?--not a bit. Which really makes me wonder what's the purpose of hair on ones arm?

Pass the Veggies:
Over break I did a ton of reading & web surfing. I've been really interested in diet & cancer. Did you know that vegetarians in general have much much lower cancer rates then carnivores? Additionally, many of the holistic doctors (combination of western medicine with a 'mind, body, spirit' emphasis) in the field put their patients on strict vegetarian diets during treatment. Vegetarian, low sugar diets have helped cancer patients respond to, tolerate treatment, & recover faster. Some doctors even attribute diet as a major contributing factor in keeping patients in remission. I'm still researching, but I'm getting closer and closer to concluding that more veggies & less sugar may be one of the best ways I can stay healthy & stay out of oncology units in the future.