Rage Against the Fruitcake!

Ahh the holidays are quickly approaching. Which can only mean one thing as a member of my family . . .fruitcake season.
As a peace loving, tree hugger, I try not to use my blog for political causes, but I must take this divisive, yet firm, stand against fruitcakes.
Far too many holiday party guests have been scared away, too many nights of one too many car accidents have been caused by drunken fruitcake eaters, and do not forget that America is in midst of an obesity epidemic! Worst of all fruitcake is bad for America, this potent mix of cake, fruit, and booze could be the root of terrorism. All of these reasons and many many more are why I'm not only the proud founder of the Society for the Alternative Uses of Fruitcake (SAUF); I'm a member of the society too!

So when you get your fruitcake (and I know many of you will), I urge you (and your intestines do too) to find an Alternative use for that fruitcake. If you don't know what to do with your fruitcake, and are rightfully too afraid to eat it here are some ideas:

• Spare tires (work equally well on trailers)
• The hubby & I have found that it makes terrific body armor if you happen to walk into a gang fight.
• Really good bait for homeless folks with 'substance issues'
• A hockey puck
• A pillow for a seat - it is very comfy on your behind
• Alternative housing. Collect fruitcakes until you have enough to build a new home. It works great as insulation. Beats straw bale and cardboard construction to pieces.
• Use it to drive nails for hanging pictures when you can't find a hammer.
• Christmas tree stand. It'll hold your tree straight and not tip over.
• At your next company holiday party - Shove into the mouth of someone who talks too much.
  

Please post how you plan on alternately using your fruitcake!

What a weekend

It's been a bit of a whirlwind weekend here.
Friday we got snow (in case you didn’t see the news), about a foot-- kindly when I got up at 5 a.m. to see the lightning with snow combo-- Matt let me take the car to work.. I was a dummy and drove in that mess, but made it with only nearly hitting a pedestrian. That evening we threw an impromptu Christmas party, where all who were invited were then forced to decorate our apartment for Christmas. While they did a great job, there is something about Christmas lights lining the ceiling of a room that reminds me of my days living in dorms.

Saturday, Matt made pancakes and then went to work to make cookies with Jr Highers. I stayed home, went on a run, helped Andrew buy a tree, purchased the most pathetic x-mas tree ever, made calzones for this weeks lunch, and to top it all off went to the Chicago Movie Club (or my friend Shane's "Secret Movie Club"). The Club was celebrating the birthday of Woody Allen. Good times!

Sunday, Church, lunch at the pastor's house (yikes!), train back to ‘civilization,’ then decorating Andrew's tree with Kurt.

I'm so glad the weekends keep me busy because my weekdays could lull someone into a comma.

quicky update

I never ever imagined I'd get paid to read. Second I never imagined I'd get paid to read text books. Is this what having a full ride scholarship feels like? I wonder. Well for now I'm just repeating my third grade math lessons as a temp. Yup, I'm schelping to the burbs as a temp to read text books. Not my dream job, but I know someone folks who might dig it. It's a gig for the moment, and I'm really polishing up on my math skills.

Thanksgiving was fun, Matt and I hauled our butts to Green Bay to give thanks for all the new little Krings-lings (seriously there were 3 folks under 18 mos present). After much eating and drinking we made it to Matt's folks house for a day of what in the third world would be called 'free labor.' The Pa-In Law put Matt, his bro, & his sis to work. New to the family Nora wisely stayed out of the way, I prepared my 'dirt farm / worms for winter. Poor Matt didn't even get a chance to shower-- As projects progressed and mid day came and passed Matt made a mad dash for the car, and we snuk away (I love family, but I really love being home directing the husbands energy to tasks around our house).

More updates to come. I'm hoping to land a real gig soon